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New Future of the Left Demos

If you don't like Future of the Left, leave immediately. I'm serious. The alternative rock/punk band that will perpetually live with the label 'that which was mclusky' are on the cusp of releasing a new record (sometime in the new year) and they're about to head to Australia to play a run of shows with their new line-up, which includes Julia Ruzicka on bass (who replaces the most awesome Kelson Mathias - Julia is also Australian) and a new guitarist, Jimmy Watkins.

I'm excited to say that they've released a few early demos for our appreciation, and the early signs are grand indeed. You can have a listen to them by clicking here. 'I am the Least of Your Problems' is particularly abrasive and completely awesome. The rest of the tracks are promising as well.

I was fortunate to talk to Falco a few weeks back for Rave Magazine and he was a super good bloke. The interview will appear in that publication sometime soon (i.e. when I get round to actually writing it up, tomorrow I swear). They play the Zoo on January 3 and I guarantee it will be brutal (having been to past FoTL & Mclusky shows).

Here's a classic live 'cover' of Mclusky classic Lightsabre Cocksucking Blues to get you in the mood.

Tenda McFly - The.Story.Of.My.Life

I'm not shy in admitting that I'm not a huge fan of current trends in hip-hop. Commercialisation almost destroyed it. A whole bunch of annoying idiots got involved in making fairly sub-standard music. The Australian versions have been almost as bad, and much derided and I think, in many respects, for good reason. Still some people are plugging along and creating some interesting stuff.

Some time ago, I received an email from a Brisbane hip-hop artist by the name of Tenda McFly, but didn't get a chance to listen to his stuff until tonight. He has created a free mix tape for download that is surprisingly catchy. He uses a bunch of well known indie songs and adds in rapping and other beats to make something that fairly interesting. Artists include Grizzly Bear, Regina Spektor, Jamie T and The XX.



You can download the record for yourself and have a listen [ here --> http://tendamcfly.bandcamp.com/album/thestoryofmylife]

Review: Jinja Safari - Self Titled.

I did this a while back now. My mind hasn't changed. My original tag line was 'forest rock needs a bit of logging'. Seriously, this feels like anti-music. I appreciate musicianship and all those fancy things that make those waves coming out of the radio palatable, but Jinja Safari annoy me. How is this innovative? Its just the same fleet foxes/bon iver/mumford & sons/vampire weekend crap all over again. And to title it 'forest rock', makes me want to punch a tree in the face.

With the benefit of hindsight, I think I was being too kind in the review.

Marcus Azon and Pepa Knight of Jinja Safari have come a long way in a short period of time. Triple J awarded the band the privilege of opening this year’s Splendour In The Grass festival, they secured the support on the upcoming Art Vs Science tour and also invented the genre of ‘forest rock’ – a whirlwind coming of age, particularly when you consider that the group only played its first show in May. Their debut self-titled EP reveals glimpses of both prodigious talent and slick marketing. The first two tracks, Mud and the lauded Peter Pan, are enjoyable enough, making good use of non-conventional instruments. However, the EP becomes weighed down by complex songs with overwrought instrumentation that becomes increasingly distracting, such as on Vagabond and Forest Eyes. Clearly in the mould of Vampire Weekend and Animal Collective, it’s hard to shake the feeling the Jinja Safari are exploring all too familiar territory.

Originally in Rave Magazine.

Record Review: The Mercy Beat - How to Shampoo a Yak

This is a great local hard-rock album, despite its strange title. Reminds me a lot of Helmet and The Mark of Cain. Saw them play at the opening of The Alley, but the sound was terrible.

The debut record of local hard rock outfit The Mercy Beat does not seem to contain explicit instructions on how to clean Himalayan bovine. Instead, the Brisbane quartet offer a journey into a realm where guitar riffs are hard currency. Landing somewhere between Kyuss and Helmet, The Mercy Beat valiantly attempt to recreate the electric atmosphere for which their live shows are renowned. For the most part this strategy succeeds, as demonstrated on tracks such as Arouzin Yispouse and I Was Born Yesterday, where the band opts to jump out of the gates guitars blazing. 2 Nein No, perhaps the record’s most interesting track, deftly uses dissonant lead riffs and punk-inspired rhythms to describe the perils of Devo-inspired dance floor chaos. While it can occasionally feel that a few of the slower numbers want for an injection of tempo, The Mercy Beat’s debut record is ultimately a satisfying experience

.

Originally in Rave Magazine.

Record Review: At Sea - In Transit

This was one of my first indie reviews for Rave Magazine, local act At Sea. I was still getting used to describing entire releases in only a few sentences (I still am). In Transit proved to be an enjoyable release. I've yet to check them out live, but it is something I look forward to when they start playing again.

Indulging in the moodiness of alt-country and garage rock, local quintet At Sea demonstrate adept songwriting on their second EP, In Transit, built around sounds reminiscent of Echo & The Bunnymen and Mark Lanegan. On this release, At Sea showcase their ability to create gothic inflections that speak in tones of premonition and dread, evident on tracks such as Doll and Weapon. Neon Lights shows psychedelic edges, meandering towards a climax spurred on by some neat vocal repetition (“You are my saviour”) courtesy of the charming Lauren Walker. Zero X Zero proves the most memorable offering, largely due to its addictive guitar hook evoking the likes of Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. However, some tracks suffer from the overpowering use of reverb that occasionally obscures Walker’s vocals. Despite this, In Transit shows a group heading in a positive direction.

Seems At Sea will have to content with new local up-and-comers Inland Sea for the battle of the band names. Some may get confused!

Originally in Rave Magazine.

Spotlight: His Merry Men

I don't usually like funk or that popular swing type jazz stuff. For instance, I find The Cat Empire are vomit-inducing. However, local group His Merry Men seem an enticing prospect.

I randomly stumbled into Rics on Friday evening, drunk, and ill suited for music appreciation (I blame my Irish cousin for my state of mind). His Merry Men started to play, and by gosh, they were a lot of fun.

Composed of percussion, bass, guitar, keys, and not one but THREE sax players. Vocalist Megan Crocombe has that sultry voice that's well suited to the funk aesthetic and I really enjoyed the little jigs that sax players would bust out, the enjoyment heightened by my level of inebriation.

A few songs were particularly well done, such as Bobby Got and Been Around, both which you can hear on Myspace and TripleJ Unearthered. Though their recordings do sound a bit generic (in the sense that I find many jazz/funk numbers to all sound very similar, but my knowledge of this genre is fairly limited), but as a live band, I think they're great.


Bobby Got-The HiFi

His Merry Men | Myspace Music Videos

Looks like they play the Joynt on December 3 and Rics again on December 12. Attendance recommended.

Troubled Thoughts on a Troubled Legacy

Published on Collapse Board a few days ago.

“Brisbane has a brilliant music scene. Since I moved to San Francisco, I’ve struggled to get my new friends interested in local music in San Francisco. Their view is that when you have interstate or international touring acts playing in our venues every night for like $15 dollars, why the fuck would you go see some no name neighbourhood kids mess around on guitars, playing music that isn’t on the radio?” – Friend and former Brisbane resident, D.Kelso, circa 2009.

OK, so my friend Kelso didn’t exactly say that, rather something very close to that.

You get the gist, right? We’re pretty fucking lucky to have what we have here, but often we can’t see the woods for the trees. Sure, we miss the occasional international act, something I’m guilty of bleating about, but the payoff is that anyone who can play G, D, and A on a guitar can start a band and walk on stage, and people will pay to go see you and (sometimes) listen. Occasionally, they might even buy your music. That’s pretty much the definition of a vibrant music scene.

However, if those musicians have nowhere to perform, how long can scenes hope to survive?

Recent events have again brought into focus Brisbane’s fairly dire record of allowing its own cultural and musical heritage to shrivel and die. The stories are well-known. Cloudland, Festival Hall, The Rev and The Arena, all gone for a variety of reasons, and it seems that those in power did little to help these places stay afloat. In the case of Cloudland, they were directly culpable. Other places, such as the Regent cinema, the government is content to sit idly by and let greed triumph over history.

In the past few weeks, there have been more announcements of imminent closures of places where people can go and support local, interstate and international touring artists, including The Globe in Fortitude Valley and the LoFly Hangar in Red Hill. Now Brisbane finds itself facing a future without the iconic Troubadour, one of the few remaining bastions of live music within the so-called ‘entertainment district’ of Fortitude Valley.

With the unfortunate benefit of hindsight, many will think that the Troubadour’s closure was not exactly unexpected. The drunken masses that prowl Brunswick Street mall on the weekends have turned the once unique and quirky Valley into something akin to hell. It’s hard to blame any particular group, or class, or person – after all, if you’re reading this and you’re from Brisbane, you’ve probably been guilty of getting drunk in the Valley – but it’s safe to say that the area has fallen victim to its own popularity. What’s depressing is that genuinely fun places to go hang out either get bought out or, in the case of the Troubadour, are forced out by circumstance. True, other venues have popped up to fill in the gaps, but dedicated music venues like The Troubadour are rare (with the obvious exception of The Zoo). All these developments highlight an immediate problem, a sudden dwindling in opportunities for local musicians to ply their wares. West End has been touted as a possibility, but apart from the HiFi, the options are fairly limited there.

Many will take solace in the burgeoning success of a number of DIY venues and art spaces that have been popping up around the city over the past two years. I’m referring to places such as Burst City, Woodland and The Alley. These places are great, but they may not be sustainable long-term solutions. Inevitably, the arm of regulation will reach out to discipline these communities; raucous live music often does not sit well with inner-city residents and/or the police.

With the Brisbane City Council and the State government pumping money into the arts, it seems strange that venues are closing down at an alarming rate. I wonder if any of the relevant authorities has rang up Jamie and Corinna of the Troubadour and said, “What can we do to make sure you guys stay open?”

There seems no obvious solution at the moment. I would tentatively suggest nurturing the DIY scene and commissioning some serious research into the music scene in Brisbane and the best way to assist venues stay afloat. It seems that at a time when people are complaining that venue lockouts will kill live music culture in Brisbane, ignorance might do it first.

Record Review: The Marsden Lees -Vices

Occasionally I feel a bit bad about giving a band a verbal tongue lashing. The Marsden Lees are from the Sunshine Coast, they clearly have some talent, but need to develop their own sound, rather than attempting to mimic the whole UK post-punk thing (i.e. The Kooks, The Libertines, Razorlight). Give them a few years, I think they might come good.

The Marsden Lees’ debut will make teenage girls weak at the knees. Suitably named Vices, it explores leitmotifs like girls, alcohol and cigarettes. The Marsden Lees show unabashed affection for the British post-punk revival aesthetic, vocalist Aaron Wynn sounding uncannily similar to Luke Pritchard of The Kooks – perhaps a bit too similar. Opener Midnight Run is a solid and well-crafted single using clean electric guitar tone in the vein of Razorlight, while Sarah embraces an upbeat ska-like tempo and a neat chorus vocal hook that just screams sing-a-long. However, the EP gradually becomes less exciting. I’m confused by what seems like false British accentuation of the lyrics, which, by the time I get to In the Water, becomes frustrating. Overall satisfactory, but perhaps more innovation in song dynamics might not go astray.

You can listen to 'Pretty Little Girls' which doesn't appear on the Vices EP, but gives you an indication of what I'm talking about with the whole Kooks thing.



Originally published in Rave Magazine.

Record Review: Sweet Jane - Sugar For My Soul

I've been a bit busy (as usual) but still doing lots of music writing. I've been doing indie reviews for Rave Magazine over the past few months. Lots of records get sent there and occasionally you pick up stuff that is quite interesting. Here is my review of Irish rock band Sweet Jane, and they're not too band. They do sound a lot like the Ravoenettes and our own Bonfire Nights.. Review follows.

From the moment opening track Bleed begins to seep through the speakers, I know I’m on to a winner with Sugar For My Soul, the debut record from Irish rock act Sweet Jane. They weave their way through the better days of Britpop, such as on the meandering Something For My Soul, to the more contemporary stripped-back rock sound of The Raveonettes, Where’s Your Money being a pertinent exemplar. The curiously named Danda and Lydia Des Dolles share vocal duties, the songs dealing with a predictable set of foibles: love, romance and the lack thereof. Sounds conventional, but the songwriting is surprisingly strong throughout. From the yearning Black Eyes, with its distinctive tremolo guitar riff underscoring a sense of grief, to the smile-inducing fun of You’re Making This Hard, a song where dissonance, dream pop and jangly melodies intersect, Sugar For My Soul’s strength is in its consistency.

Have a listen to 'You're Making This Hard'. This version is a lot slower than the record version for some reason.




Originally published in Rave Magazine.

Bonfire Nights...Underground

I'm a big fan of Bonfire Nights. This great video of them playing in some kind of storm water drain is particularly good. Enjoy.

Art Of Noises Presents Bonfire Nights from Art Of Noises on Vimeo.

WTF Troubadour

Well, the news is well and truly out. The Troubadour is closing down for good. It seems that this place has been synonymous with Brisbane music for God knows how long (its been a while, though I do recall it being a bad hip-hop/dance bar called Mantra before it became the Troubadour). This is particularly bad for live music in the city, considering that LoFly and The Globe are also ceasing operations as live music venues.

Pretty much anyone who has been in a band here has played there, pretty much anyone who is even remotely fond of local music would have been here. Man, even one of my bands played the joint.

Here are a few gigs and moments that I've enjoyed from various jaunts to the Troubadour.

Jens Lekman (2005)
Appearing with full band, the Swedish troubadour charmed the audience with songs from Oh You're So Silent Jens. A particularly great version of the 'Cold Swedish Winter' using some sort of music box as his accompaniment.

Neko Case (2005 or 2006)
This was Neko's tour for The Fox Confessor Brings the Flood. I heard Neko was a bit narky at sound check, but this didn't carry over to her live show. Absolutely amazing. Her voice was triumphant.

There are countless more, but those two really stand out in my mind.

As I wrote on a forum somewhere, I do remember some local musicians challenging the drummer from Okkervil River to a yo-yo competition. That was hilarious to watch.

Does anyone watching here have any memories they want to share?

Adieu LoFly

You've probably heard the news, the LoFly Hangar is going to be closing down in December.

It seems that the local Red Hill residents are not too fond of the thump of bass drums causing their lattes to spill all over their kitchen tables. Or that their patience is beginning to wear thin. Either way, the label has decided to go out on a good note and close the venue for the time being.

The last show is scheduled for December 11th.

I only went a handful of times, but these types of places are almost the lifeblood of the Brisbane music scene, particularly now considering Fortitude Valley has gone to hell.

Thankfully the excellent Burst City still survive and is playing host to a great event this weekend - Dick Nasty / Per Purposes / Scraps / Meat Thump

Songs About Brisbane - The Stress of Leisure

[Written initially for Collapse Board, but cross posted here]

So Andrew McMillen’s great coverage of Robert Forster’s ’15 Songs About Brisbane’ is the starting point for another article about artists who have used Brisbane as a muse, a setting in which to create their own myths. The Saints (‘Brisbane City’), Custard (‘Caboolture Speed Lab’) and Sekiden (‘BNE’) have all titled songs with obvious references to Brisbane locations and surrounding areas. I’m sure there are many others.

I want to concentrate on a more recent song by The Stress of Leisure, a local group that has evolved from the recordings of Ian Powne. He has a Pavement/Jarvis Cocker thing going on, but often moves into The Go-Betweens territory, investing tunes with the characteristic striped sunlight sound that is so familiar within many songs that concentrate on the city. It seems Forster and McClennan’s influence is undeniably pervasive when it comes to Brisbane.

The Stress of Leisure’s recent album, Soft Approach, an all-round excellent record, features a song called ‘Death On The Magic Mile’. It’s a sinister sounding tune, featuring overdriven guitars alternating between several low-end notes in the verse and a relatively bright and jangly chorus. The lyrical content refers specifically to ‘The Magic Mile’, which, for those who haven’t spent much time in Brisbane, refers to a stretch of Ipswich Road in the South Side suburb of Moorooka famous for an extensive array of car dealerships. Listening to the lyrics, I find it hard to pin down an exact meaning – could it refer to shady car-deals? Dodgy salespeople? I’m not sure. A look at the video for the song still has me puzzled, but there are many shots of the area, the band driving about in a Ford Mustang.



Curious, I contacted Ian Powne.

Hi Ian, I’ve listened intently to ‘Death On The Magic Mile’ and I have a few possible interpretations, but I was wondering what was the exact story you intended to tell with this song?

“I’ve wondered myself about possible storylines, and I’m not being pretentious or elusive when I say this: the song just happened. I think I have this romantic association with the Magic Mile for some reason and well, I’m basically trying to corrupt people into thinking there’s more going on at the Magic Mile than they’ve historically conceived.

“You’ve got the verses where I briefly describe the setting such as the caravans and caryards, adult shop. This all contributes to the backdrop. The chorus just came out like it did, possibly a reflection of someone who is obsessed with their own mortality. I think the lyrics in the chorus are of someone looking back at one’s younger self, reflecting. It’s all kind of stark, but romantic at the same time.”

So what do you think is so special about The Magic Mile?

“Well, it’s hilarious really, how did it come to be the Magic Mile? I find it amazing that someone has coined the name and everybody’s bought it to the extent it’s become an entity. You think about places like this and wonder how the name sticks. You can’t tell me people really believe it IS the Magic Mile, that’s what’s kind of brilliant about it."

“It’s got a bit of age to it now too. Places like this deserve some sort of mythology. Ben (bass player in The Stress of Leisure) and I would travel through it all the time when we rehearsed with Tony (former drummer) and laugh about this. One place in particular we constantly joked about was the adult shop that used to exist. It’s now been painted over, unfortunately, but it was right by the train station."

“There’s some great history to that shopfront actually. Back in Joh’s day, it was called The Golden Hands, a ‘massage parlour’ which was quite popular with many a gent. From what I’m told, many of them originated from Ipswich, but I’m sure there was a decent geographical spread (pardon the pun). It was also a popular place for the occasional police raid (flash to many years later and here’s The Stress of Leisure being photographed just by it, not to mention Ed Kuepper)."

“So yeah, there’s also this seedy history of massage parlours and who knows what else, also happening alongside the car dealerships. I’m sure others could expand on it; you scratch the surface of any place, you’re bound to find more. In the end, I think the possibilities of all these other stories are kind of where the song comes in, creating its own, even though it’s only a glimpse of a story. Also being a main thoroughfare out of Brisbane, it’s been around long enough now to form a particular place in many people’s lives, positive or otherwise. I thought the setting was ripe for the taking.”

How do you feels this song fits into a grander narrative about Brisbane?

“Well, perhaps it fits into that feeling of not taking oneself too seriously. The title certainly is humorous to me. Then there’s the ‘Hey everyone, come to Brisbane, I’m going to show you the Magic Mile!’ There’s a lot more appealing places to the eye in this city, we all know that. But it’s also an older part of Brisbane, whereas everything now is about ‘now’, this very instant. It’s about being the latest in design and about being ‘world class’, a term I can’t stand.

“Brisbane has always been obsessed with ‘new’, perhaps to its detriment. You only have to go just below the border to a place like Bangalow or Tenterfield to find the beauty in old architecture, buildings that have been around for a while. I’m more attracted to places like this. I still like the river walk, but I’m also turned off by it. I hate ‘Riverfire’! I guess the Magic Mile is referring back to a place that you really did the hard yards in, a Brisbane that wasn’t as flashy, a Brisbane that wasn’t as easy as it’s meant to be now. I like Brisbane now, but I cast a very wary eye over it. Familiarity breeds contempt."

“Ed Kuepper has also revealed a certain fascination with the Magic Mile. He released a compilation of his work called This Is The Magic Mile, so I guess we’re also one of the many Brisbane bands to follow the lead from Mr Kuepper. I’d be interested to hear what he’d have to say about the place.”

What is your own favourite song about Brisbane?

“My favourite song about Brisbane changes every week, but at this point in time I’ll say The Go-Betweens ‘Unkind And Unwise’, which I’m pretty sure is a song set in Brisbane. I love the imagery that Grant uses, particularly this verse: ‘The salt in the wind moves over the mudflats/Sticks to your skin and rusts up the lights/Blows through the ferns that breathe in the dark/I try to forget but it’s so hard’. As well as being odd timing wise, it has a distinct beauty, a worthy partner to ‘Cattle and Cane’.”



“It reminds me of an old Brisbane that patiently waited, still hanging on archly to old British traditions. This is all weighted against the harshness and grandeur of the local environs. It also reminds me of my grandparents and their house. Incidentally, I used to always see Grant walking past my place, he had a strut. Once I remember he was sitting outside the corner store, eating a banana paddle pop, content that the whole world was just passing him by. It’s such a cherished memory.”

Lately, on the Stereo

Ok, ok, ok. I'm not exactly dead, but I'm not exactly alive either. I've been so busy with work and with rehearsing with my new band for Shoot (which happened on the weekend), that I haven't had much time to breathe, let alone write (though I have been writing a bit more regularly for Rave Magazine and a bit here and there for Collapse Board).

I don't really have anything constructive or critical to say, but in the aid of getting some content up, I thought I might just share what I've been listening to recently. Feel free to chime in with your recommendations.

White Denim - Shake Shake Shake



Catchy garage rock from Austin's very own White Denim. This came out in 2008, but a friend of mine passed it on to me, and I don't mind it at all.

The Bats - Block of Wood



Love The Bats. I purchased X a few months back and 'Block of Wood' is my favourite from the collection. I've been raving on and on about this song to my friends and have just managed to convince my band to attempt a cover of it. Hopefully it turns out well. Bianca included them in her NZ week posts over the past week, as well.

The Saints - Wild About You



This is a cover of a Missing Links song (also a great song). Love The Saint's version, Kuepper's guitar is absolutely fucking awesome.

Life Without Buildings - New town



It's revival time. These guys released one awesome record then disappeared. Their Live at the Annandale record is a goldmine. The live recording of 'New Town' being particularly great [the one here is the album version],

HITS - Crackpipe



Got this album a while back and enjoy it for its raw don't-give-a-rats-arse aesthetic. Its dirty, outrageous, but accomplished. All the songs on the record are consistentyl good. Crackpipe is my favourite (though, you'll have to listen through to about 5:00 mins to hear it), the sound quality is listenable but not the greatest, so apologies for that.

Shoot

Hi y'all. A quick plug for an event I am intimately involved with - specifically SHOOT, put on by local Brisbane community group, the 4C Arts Collective.

Basically, we're throwing an 'art party' this Saturday October 2nd at The Alley in the city. This involves three bands, other performance arts, such as Guns and Kids (some kind of drum/dance battle I'm told), visual feasts and a variety of multimedia. The whole idea behind it is to mash as many different artistic and creative disciplines in one place and donate all proceeds to a charitable organisation or community art project.

This will be the sixth art extravaganza put on by the collective and they're always a great night out. Tickets are $15. If you buy from oztix, you get a free drink. It's a pretty great price for everything you get.

This time round, proceeds are being donated to Six Degrees - the climate change activist group associated with Friends of the Earth.

Bands include Bonfire Nights, Felinedown and newcomers (which, I must mention, I play in) Frozen Face of Polar Bear. Djs #dave and Aukistra play later in the night.

Full details on facebook or on the 4c Arts site.

Strange Powers

Stephin Merritt is a personal hero of mine. You'll probably know him from his most significant project, The Magnetic Fields. I love the philosophy behind his songwriting, love his use of melody and think his lyrics clever and engaging, facets that inform my own crude attempts at song-writing. And despite my dislike of 'concept records', 69 Love Songs stands out as an exception. A record detailing songs about love songs - absolutely brilliant!

I was fortunate enough to see the band play in New York earlier in the year, an enthralling and intimate experience which demonstrated Merritt's droll persona and his often brutal sense of irony (you can read my thoughts on this show by clicking here).

The Brisbane Underground Film Festival happens to be showing the Stephin Merritt (and The Magnetic Fields) biopic, Strange Powers, on the 29th of September at the Brisbane Powerhouse. As far as I know, it's the only showing of this film in Brisbane, so if you're a fan of the man and his band, this will prove to be very interesting. Apparently filmed over ten years, the reception has generally been good.

In the meantime, perhaps its time to revist the song by which the film is named after. I love the lyrics, particularly in the opening stanza, "On the ferris wheel / Looking out on Coney Island / Under more stars than / There are prostitutes in Thailand". Enjoy.

Shoot Me Now: More Nominations for the 2010 J Award

I’ve moaned on and on about this in the past and I’ve truly beaten the horse to death, but another round of nominees for the 2010 J Award has been announced, and yet again, I’m left exasperated by absence of artists who have released great albums this year but have been ignored by the broadcaster. If you didn't already know, Washington and Birds of Toyko have joined Sia, Tame Impala and Cloud Control on the roster of ‘breakthrough artists’ in line for the national youth broadcaster's 2010 award for best album.

Any person who has followed the awards over the past year should recognise that many of these 'breakthrough artists' also happen to be the ones consistently played on high rotation throughout the year on Triple J. I don’t begrudge an artist from receiving praise for work well done and reaping the rewards, but frankly, I've formed the view that the J Award is nothing more than a rubber stamp, justifying the promotion of certain artists, while ignoring those who are doing equally as good work with little recognition but who haven't, for whatever reason, captured the 'hearts and minds' of the Triple J audience. In short, populism reigns supreme and critical assessment of the work submitted for the award may go by the weigh side. Sounds elitist, but hear me out.

The award ostensibly represents the talent Australia has to offer. To quote their website, it is an award that “recognises the very best musical talent that Australia has on offer, each year celebrating the outstanding musical output of our homegrown artists." [Source: http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/jawards/10/about/].

So the question that always bugs me when these nominations come around, particularly when you consider the objective of the award, is the J Award truly representative of quality Australian music, or simply some means of self-justifying giving a lot of airtime to a relatively small group of bands. Where is the transparency?

This is not a criticism of any of the bands nominated in 2010 so far – truth be told, I’ve only listened to two in full – but historically, some of the records that have been nominated have been decidedly underwhelming. Occasionally, some artists seem to be nominated on the basis of their past work rather than the merits of the record that is currently up for judgement. Case in point, Bernard Fanning’s nomination for ‘Tea & Sympathy’ some years back, a record that was pedestrian and lacked any real staying power (this Drowned in Sound review of that record pretty much sums up my own listening experience of this release).

Of course, the preceding view is coloured by my own subjective judgements, but I think it is hard to deny that the artists who get nominated generally come from a group that gets consistently hammered into the listeners. There are question marks over whether the broadcaster is aware of other records of true value, that in many cases far exceed those nominated.

Lets have a look at a few examples. Last year, Sydney band Songs put out an absolutely brilliant self-titled debut record yet wasn’t picked up by the J Award. This year, Melbourne group Otouto have put out ‘Pip’, another piece of brilliance that has tragically gone ignored. The Boat People’s ‘Dear Darkly’ is also great but can’t even rate a mention thus far. There are many other examples that I’m sure people could think of as well. Richard in Your Mind’s debut record is outstanding and hasn’t appeared on the nominees list.

While more esoteric, the 2010 Mess and Noise mid-year report is far more illuminating when it comes to seeing what artists are making waves in the craft. I suggest having a read of that. You’ll note Otouto’s name features prominently amongst the list. I wonder why that is?

Consequently, this post talks of my own personal loss of faith in the merits of having a J Award. If the award is to recognise the best musical talent, then I think it is failing, because, in my view, it is not recognising the best musical talent, but rather reinforcing its own monolithic and completely subjective opinion on what is good and what is bad. I know it would be impossible to nominate every single record of merit for the award, but if the nomination process were more transparent - if the listeners could see exactly why the judging team selects certain records rather than others - perhaps some of my confidence could be restored. Because at the moment, the J Award seems nothing more than a fancy marketing tool for both Triple J and their favourites.

To finish off, let’s have a look at some zingers from the past….

In 2005, The Drones released an absolute masterpiece in 'Wait Long By the River and the Bodies of Your Enemies Will Float By' along side the aforementioned Bernard Fanning solo record. The Drones lose out to Wolfmother.

In 2006, Gotye and Sarah Blasko released great records and lost out to The Hilltops Hoods formulaic brand of Australian hip hop (pan pipe sample + beat + beer reference + shout out to DJ Peril = song) manages to win the day.

In 2007, Eddy Current Suppression Ring released a great debut record and lose out to a The Presets 'Apocalypso'. I almost threw up in a hat on that one.

Occasionally it had looked like perhaps the national broadcaster had got it somewhere in the correct ballpark – in 2008 with The Panics, and last year with Sarah Blasko, but generally, I have been underwhelmed with each offering from the 'winner' of the award.

Any further thoughts?

Spotlight on The Bell Divers

Busy busy busy weekend. I visited the Alley on Friday night and had a few too many [some thoughts to follow this week, perhaps today].

As I was saying last week, Collapse Board is now up and running. I submitted my first article on the weekend, a spotlight on local group The Bell Divers. You can tell I'm a fan. Here is a snippet.

Meet me in the games room and fuck me on the pool table.

Compelled by wistful melodies and punctuated by a series of odd characters, the songs of The Bell Divers are like novelettes, often exploring the realities faced by those most vulnerable to the pressures of today’s world. These might include homeless vagrants, criminals, and others, whose voices can be drowned out by a world obsessed with aesthetics and status. Other narratives investigate the well-trodden path of love and loss, juxtaposed with brutality and violence that is often stated with a matter-of-fact demeanour that a more conservative listener might find shocking or immoral. Still, it makes for interesting listening.

Life in a caravan, life with these brutal men.

I came to know of The Bell Divers through my two house-mates whom I lived with in Red Hill a few years back. They had occasionally played in the band while the group were still finalising their line up and were waiting for members to return from overseas. Naturally, I found myself going to some of the earlier gigs and listening to demos and all the other things sociable share house dwellers do.

There’s a little girl spread across the road and I don’t feel blue.

At the band’s heart are Clinton Toghill and Matthew Lobb, occasional penpals prior to beginning the group, the duo met in London to discuss the possibility of collaborating, before relocating back to South East Queensland in 2006 to make the project a reality. Filling out the band with the usual assortment of instruments (bass, percussion, keys), The Bell Divers played fairly regularly throughout the city, supporting the likes of The Fauves when they ventured up from the south, and also playing at some fairly unconventional venues such as Ithaca Pool and at a cake stall at a local community hall in Bardon. They quietly released their debut record June, July in 2007, which they recorded somewhere south of the border with Tim Whitten.

Have a read of the rest over at Collapse Board.

Also, The Bell Divers have a new tumblr blog, complete with some nuanced musings courtesy of Matt Lobb. It's quite entertaining.

Collapse Board, More Friday Evening Gigs.

Good afternoon. It's a lovely day in Brisbane today, isn't it?

A quick word about Collapse Board, a new initiative led by Everett True (Plan B Magazine, the + in the Kurt + Courtney equation) and Justin Edwards (notaphoto). It's a local music blog aggregation service featuring the voices of local music writers and critics. It also has spotlight features and also have record and live reviews. I'm lucky enough to be aggregated there and will be also contributing from time to time. I recommend having a read of Alex Gillies spotlight on Teargas, cause it's great.

Also, DZ have a mouth watering show with Velociraptor and Sleepwalks tonight at the Zoo. Makes my choice of what to go see very hard!

The Alley: New Venue / Space - Bunker Party

The Mercy Beat playing the OLD Alley Bar

Long time no speak? I'm still snowed under with work and house move. Planning to catch up on the writing this weekend.

Quick shout out to let you know of the emergence of a new space / venue in the heart of Brisbane.

The Alley is an artspace located in laneway just off Elizabeth street, near Ticketek main office. I don't believe it has anything to do with the old Alley bar that used to be at Milton.

They're doing their opening gig tomorrow night with The Mercy Beat headlining (rad!). Others include I Am Tiger and Massai. $10 / BYO / Doors: 8pm.

They're also hosting the next 4C Art party in October in which yours truly is playing at.

Great that these types of venues are opening up around the city!

The Stress of Leisure Launch Soft Approach

Why hello there! My lack of posts can be explained by a move to Woolloongabba and a battling the dread plague. I can't promise much more this week due to similar reasons - and the fact that I'm working a heap. However I thought I'd pause to mention the launch the third record by localsThe Stress of Leisure, Soft Approach, at the Zoo this Friday.

The Stress of Leisure is the brainchild of Ian Powne. The group plays something akin to Pulp / Pavement / Bowie, but with a definitive Brisbane feel. I've heard the record, and its something special (review forthcoming sometime soon). The new video, "Death on the Magic Mile", of course contains a known local reference. The song is interesting, seeming a lot more abrasive than some of the band's previous work. Check it out below.




'Death on the Magic Mile' from Soft Approach.

Supports include Grand Atlantic and Girl with Cake.

Don't Believe the Hype - A Splendour Review [Part 3]

Ben Lee poisoned me.

Woah! I have been waylaid for a week and a half. I got a vicious infectious disease, probably caused by Ben Lee. I think it was he who snuck into my tent at Splendour and infected me with a strain of H5N1, commonly known as Avian Flu. It has prevented me from finishing my Splendour review. My immune system has finally kicked into gear and I have emerged victorious. Now, without further ado....I bring you the final chapter in the trilogy, Splendour in the Grass, Part 3.

Day Three

I wake up with a feeling akin to a hangover. This is strange because I didn’t drink the day before. Perhaps Ben Lee snuck into my tent and poisoned me during the night. Feeling a bit of an outsider at the festival so I decide to attempt to fit in. I don an Australian flag as a cape, a pair of Ray Bans, a wife-beater, and a giant sombrero. Back to the amphitheatre.

I’d never expect to see a boy and bear on stage together, but Splendour is all about surprises and that’s exactly what we get when Boy & Bear emerge on to the main stage. Have you ever seen a full grown bear do a Kirk Hammett-esque guitar solo before throwing himself into a crowd of folk music loving music fans who fail to catch him and result in a horrendous shoulder injury? Well, I now have. This unfortunate event cut short the set. Indeed, boy looks a bit lost without his bear.

What is funny about Cloud Control is that in addition to playing instruments, they're also a group of traveling meteorologists with a social conscious. They play a bunch of songs from their debut record Bliss Release including the hit single “There is Nothing in the Water That We Can’t Fight” which is actually protest song regarding government proposals to put fluoride in our water supplies. A person dressed up as a large tooth complete with cowboy hat joins the band on stage and does some kind of rap, followed by a slow break dance. Presumably this is some sort of public health announcement.


When Cloud Control are not playing festivals, they're predicting weather.

A crowd gathers around the front of stage eagerly awaiting the imminent return of We Are Scientists to Australia. Several men in black roll out laboratory tables and a giant periodic table. Three guys in lab coats emerge sans instruments, instead carrying centrifuges. They perform a number of experiments, including mixing magnesium with oxygen to produce magnesium oxide. It’s all pretty exciting and I felt like I really learned something. Not all agree, going by the amount of beer cans that are thrown at the stage.

Ash used to have a super hot chick in the band. But she left to pursue a solo career. Still they have some great songs like ‘Kung Fu’ and ‘A Life Less Ordinary’. Now they’re getting a bit old and fat and the drummer looks like Adam Spencer. Still their rousing rendition of ‘A Life Less Ordinary’ pleases the gathered crowd of fashion victims from the late 1990s.

The Vines are crap. Someone hurls a wheelchair at Craig Nicholls, which he narrowly avoids. It skittles along the stage floor, crashing into the drumkit, ruining a kick drum on the way. The band regretfully have to finish ‘Highly Evolved’ without drums before trudging off the stage.

Mumford and Sons play to a massive crowd of people who love a second rate Fleet Foxes. However, they do love a good banjo. It seems that Mumford and Sons are only popular here in Australia given that they’ve been here about 50 times in the last 6 months. They are joined on stage by another hack that seems only popular in Australia. Ben Harper comes out to play a twenty-minute banjo solo during 'Little Lion Man', failing to notice the rest of the band packing up 5 minutes into his cameo. Somehow this song segues into a rousing version of 'Mama's Trippin' and I think I saw a guy in dreadlocks get an erection. Ben comes to at the end of the song, realising that everyone has left the main stage and promptly starts crying. It's a touching moment and I feel like I want to kill myself.

Richard Ashcroft is a megalomaniac. He beings with a rendition of the Verve’s ballad ‘The Drugs Don’t Work’ clearly sending a message that his usual dosage of prescription medicines are failing to prevent him overcoming his natural inclination to wankery. Reacting negatively to a few missiles thrown in his direction, Ashcroft hurls himself off the stage into the crowd screaming ‘I’ll take you all on!’, arms flailing like a crazed dervish. Security guards prevent the ‘superstar’ from hurting anyone, demanding he return to the stage. Ashcroft seems perturbed, refusing to perform anymore, stating he’d rather go see the Pixies.

Often, it is puzzling how one song can define one bands career. Empire of the Sun actually only have one song – 'Walking on a Dream' - which sounds like it has been ripped off Boy Meets Girl 80s song ‘Waiting For a Star to Fall’. Luke Steele arrives on the stage dressed as giant flamingo. This costume is so outrageously large, he cannot fit on the stage without some emergency modifications to his costume. They play a 45 minute version of ‘Walking on a Dream’ before leaving to a rapturous applause. They return for an encore, in which they play ‘Walking on a Dream’ once again.


Black Francis has let himself go.

It’s getting late and Pixies are the final band to grace the main Splendour stage.Once the band that was worth a lot of indie street cred, this is the group's second visit to Australia in 2010 since the GFC destroyed their superannuation in 2009. Frank Black sit up behind the rest of the band, Jabba the Hut style, lying back on a throne, playing guitar and eating weird chicken like animals sourced from the depths of Tatoonie. Joey Santiago resembles a reanimated corpse, while Dave Lovering could actually be using a modified version of Stephen Hawking’s wheelchair as his drum kit. Still, they play a bunch of songs that are pretty awesome. However, the best is yet to come.

During ‘Where is My Mind’, spectators are shocked when a drunken Tim Roger’s charges on to stage and tackles Kim Deal, sending her prosthetic leg flying into the crowd. ‘Where is my Mind’ inevitably becomes ‘Where is My Leg?’, and the entire crowd is forced to search amongst the slew of rubbish that has gathered over the past few days for Kim’s missing appendage.

Pixies wind down what has been a thoroughly bizarre three days. I spend 10 hours in traffic on my way back to Brisbane.

The Boaties on the 2010 Australia Election

It is an election frenzy at the moment here in Australia. The two candidates for the position of Supreme Leader of Australia have been involved in an often heated debate on the issue of The Boat People.

I decided to cut straight to the chase and ask The Boat People in person what they thought of the election thus far, and get their side of the story. James from the Boaties was kind enough to indulge me.

It's election time and Tony Abbott and Julia Gibbard seem determined to make The Boat People an election-changing issue? What have you guys done to warrant such concern?!

Well it's very flattering to see ourselves in the headlines but without trying to jump to conclusions I'm not sure Tony Abbott is a fan of indie-pop, so perhaps it's not us he's referring to! You never know though. Perhaps the Liberal party should use a Shins track in their next T.V. ad!


Have you considered sending the candidates a copy of your quite accomplished third record Dear Darkly to assure them that the Boat People are contributing positively to Australian society?

No, but I thought I saw Julia Gillard at a gig recently. Then I thought it was Elly Jackson from La Roux. Turned out it was neither, but for a moment I was quite excited!!

What policy do you think the major party candidates should be concentrating on instead? Do you have any reform advice?

Well, I've never been a fan of economic rationalism so it would be a nice surprise if the major parties truly recognised the intrinsic, non-material value of the arts and followed that up with policy. That and a federal "free guitar strings for poor musicians" grant.



Echo Stick Guitars. Coming to a political ad near you.


If you had to pick a song off Dear Darkly to accompany a political or election ad, which one would it be? And could you imagine what kind of message this hypothetical ad might contain?

Perhaps "Echo Stick Guitars" because it's the most nonsensical song we've ever put out! Plus it has an off-beat electro drum feel that always makes me think "spoken by R. Reynolds for the Labour Party, Canberra".

You've been touring about now, heavily promoting Dear Darkly, hows the response been?

It's been the best response we've ever had! We're loving playing live more than ever, and good thing too as there's a lot more touring to come.

Will touring pretty much define the rest of 2010? Any international touring plans?

YES and YES! We love going overseas.

Well, you've heard it from the proverbial horses mouth. Do yourself a favour and don't comdemn The Boat People to some Pacific island off the coast of Australia by throwing away your democratic rights in the upcoming election. They're nice guys, ok!

Manic Weekend of Local Gigs Forthcoming

No Anchor play Burst City tomorrow night
Woah, there seems to be a lot of quality gigs forthcoming this weekend - with so much choice, what are you going to pick? Here is what is on offer over the coming Friday and Saturday night.

FRIDAY

On Friday at Clubhouse @ Tempo Hotel you can catch Seja supporting Melbourne's Otouto (whose record 'Pip' is one of my favourites of the year). Seja's record is also pretty good too.

Over at the Legions Club you can catch Young Bloods #2 featuring Bubsy Marou, Steve Grady and Transvaal Diamond Syndicate. Cost is about $10-$13 I believe and it is all ages. Presented by Starving Kids and Brisbane Sounds.

Alternatively Burst City are hosting Turnpike, No Anchor, Teargas and Dick Nasty. All ages gig, cost is $10. Some people have been confused by the running times but I have it on good authority that Dick Nasty start around 8.30, followed by Turnpike, No Anchor and then Teargas.

The Hungry Kids of Hungary are back from overseas and are playing at the Zoo.

SATURDAY

Saturday night sees Hunz and Mr Maps at Rics which sounds like an awesome gig.

Over at the Zoo sees the launch of The Mercy Beat's debut record "How to Shampoo a Yak". Supports include HITS.

I'm a bit overwhelmed but am going to try make it to Burst City and the Rics gig.

Don't Believe the Hype - A Splendour Review [Part 2]

Penfold Krackerbarral continues to bring you the real events that made up 2010's Splendour in the Grass festival. If you missed yesterday's madness, you can read it by clicking here.

SATURDAY
After the awesomeness of yesterday, I wake at the suitable time of 12 noon and roll out of my tent to see that someone has used the side of my tent as a urinal during the night. As the waft of urine makes its way through my nasal passage, I raise my fist to the sky and curse Ben Harper’s name. I know he probably didn’t do it, but still, I feel justified in blaming him. I take a belt of whiskey from my hip flask and set off towards the stages once again.

I wander past the Triple J enclosure. I note the Doctor parading around in a three-piece suit interviewing celebrities. I liked this guy better when he was in Frenzal Rhomb.

McFly are playing a set. An hour long set. Who in the hell invited these pituitary retards to this ‘music’ festival? I note one Rio Lobotomy follows their set, and I pray to almighty Jesus that this is some kind of live brain removal operation on the members of McFly. Failing that, I think I might have to get one if I am forced to sit through a McFly set.

Thankfully, I’m not, and exercising my rational judgement chooses to go see the latest flash in the pan, Two Door Cinema Club. These guys are from Northern Ireland, and when not making music that features a bit too much keyboards, they’re thinking up snazzy band names like the aforementioned ‘Two Door Cinema Club’ or ‘Four Door Electric Hatchback’ or ‘Eight Legged Mechanical Esky’. They play a song called ‘I Can Talk’ which is funny because they cannot sing, nor play instruments. Perhaps that's the only thing they can do?


The Philadelphia Grand Jury take their jobs very seriously.

Philadelphia Grand Jury arrive on the amphitheatre. This time they’ve brought the entire bench of the Philadelphia Supreme Court, and instead of playing their hit songs which are ever so popular, they decide to court-marshal Julia Stone live on stage, charging her with manslaughter over the “accidental” shooting death of Andrew Stockdale from the previous day. She gets off lightly, sentenced to 100 hours of community service and a mandatory “emu parade” at the end of the festival. Philadelphia Grand Jury are harsh…but fair.

Lunchtime again. Today I opt for the Dagwood dog, which only costs me $20 plus my first-born child. I laugh inwardly – don’t those carnie merchants know that Ben Harper’s music has rendered me sterile? The joke is on them.

Tame Impala are here to wow the crowd with their psychedelia. Halfway through ‘Lucidity’, I have a lucid moment combined with an existential crisis Why did I come to this festival? Am I simply dreaming? Why don’t I look more like Leonardo diCaprio? My mind wanders for what seems like 16 weeks but is actually only about 2 seconds. Still, I can’t really remember how the Tame Impala ended. Weird.

Wolfmother had to cancel. Understandable considering their bandleader was killed the previous day. Instead, the organisers opt to put on a Black Sabbath record and everyone seems pleased.

Well, well well. Guess who is next - yup! It's Art V Science. These guys have a song called ‘Parlez Vous Francais’, probably one of the most annoying songs ever created. You can imagine some French band getting huge in France by simply singing a song in English that goes ‘Do You Speak English?”. It sounds pretty stupid to us, doesn’t it?

It always strikes me as humourous asking someone if they speak French…in French…I mean, it just won’t work out if they don’t, will it? Really they should be asking ‘Do you speak just enough French to realise that I’m asking you if you understand what I’m saying?” Anyway, Art V Science finishes with yet again no conclusive evidence as to which discipline has triumphed over the other.


Florence + the Machine want this dog TO DIE!!!

Florence + the Machine is some kind of equation. I do notice bad algebra when I see it – where is the resultant expression? Let me solve it for you. Florence + the Machine = shithouse. They play a song about how the dog’s days are numbered or over or something, which is presumably about euthanizing dogs. Get the RSPCA on the line! Not only are they pro-killing canines, but also they have the audacity to write popular music about it.

Band of Horses are a misnomer. I arrive at the GW McLennan stage expectant to see this group of talented equines, but it turns out that they are actually humans. No horse can be seen anywhere. I’m pretty peeved and find it hard to concentrate. When I pay $500 to see a band of talented horses, I expect a fucking band of horses! At least wear some kind of horse head costume! Even a camel suit like in Jonathan Richman’s 'Egyptian Reggae' clip would have sufficed.

More Camel Needed from Band of Horses

Julian Casablancas has the coolest name in the history of names. His band, the Strokes, play popular garage rock music, the type of music that spawned such awesome groups as Jet. During the middle of ‘New York City Cop’s Julian dives horizontally across the stage, Raiden-from- Mortal-Kombat style, and giving Albert Hammond Jr a fatality. Apparently they haven’t been getting along that well lately. The set ends abruptly and people return to their tents to scratch their heads over the antics they had seen this day.

Come back tomorrow for details of the final day! It will be gangbusters!

Don't Believe the Hype - Splendour in the Grass: A Review?

Hola! I'm Penfold Krackerbarral and I went to Splendour in the Grass. I've packaged together some of my thoughts for Daz's benefit.

Thursday
I arrive at my campsite late on Thursday night and pitch my one-man tent. I’m crammed up against the male toilets next to a group of people who’ve been sitting around drinking beer for most of the day. They’re busy telling each other about how much more superior their musical taste than the average festival punter. I do end up confused because despite such claims, many in this aforementioned group feel compelled to state repeatedly how much they’re looking forward to watching Mumford & Sons the next day. To tell you the truth, I’d prefer watching Garry MacDonald and Ruth Cracknell do a 45 minute enactment of the best of ‘Mother & Son’ on the main Splendour stage than catch the aforementioned winners of the Triple J’s “hottest 100” of 2009. I roll my eyes and return to the safety of my fortress of solitude. I’m a tired mofo.


Mother & Son - far superior to Mumford & Sons

You see, I left Brisbane 12 hours earlier; arrived at the grounds an hour later, then spent 11 hours in a holding queue. I almost died of thirst, but was lucky enough to have enough distilled urine to prolong my feeble existence, a trick I learned from the ever-helpful ‘Man v Wild’ television series.

Friday – Day One

I’m up at the crack of dawn. I’m not missing Jinja Safari for the world. These guys won some competition presided over by Richard Kingsmill, future leader of North Korea. Ironically, despite being the first band on the bill, Jinja Safari is probably the best of the entire festival. It’s a shame that not many people are here to see them.

I stick around to see local grunge band Violent Soho sans Thurston Moore. They have a song about Jesus stealing girlfriends, which is historically inaccurate at least in a literal sense. They pretty much rock the fuck out and rip a few bottoms apart here and there.

British India play a set typical of a band who admire colonialism. Included in the setlist is an anti-Gandhi anthem, another song about bringing civilisation to the savages and a folk-esque tune that looks into the fiscal benefits of exploiting the third world. Actually, all of that might not be true, as I cannot remember any of their set because I fell asleep.

Megan Washington looks like an attractive female Beatle, judging by her haircut. She plays some songs and does a great Abby Dobson impression; everyone is holding hands and slapping each other on the back. ‘Yeah, we’re cool!’

I take a break for lunch, and spend $40 on a hotdog. It cost me $10 for some bbq sauce as well. Good value for money. It’s fortunate that I budgeted $5,000 to attend this festival. Who needs two kidneys anyway?

I return to the GW McLennan tent to catch Midlake. They emerge from stage left dressed as 19th century American puritans, pitchforks in hand. They don’t actually play guitars, instead opting to shovel hay for 45 minutes. Still, their set is more enjoyable than Angus and Julia Stone.

Angus has been getting around in a beard of late, attempting to look like Devendra Banhart. Julia gets in on the act, playing their entire set with a large bushranger-style beard. During ‘Mango Tree’, Julia dons a Ned Kelly style metal helmet, a long brown jacket, completing her outfit with two holstered pistols. Near the end of the set, she leaves her piano and ambles towards the side of stage, firing two shots into celebrity onlookers, mortally wounding Andrew Stockdale from Wolfmother. The crowd rejoices at this development, but joy soon turns to melancholy, as Julia is taken away in shackles.


Police sketch artist depiction of a murderous Julia Stone approaching Andrew Stockdale

One of two horse themed bands here at Splendour, Foals attempt to engage the crowd by catapulting a horse carcass into the mosh pit. Screams of joy turn to screams of agony as a 900-pound horse crushes several Foals fans. This naturally puts a dampener on proceedings and the usually upbeat ‘Spanish Sahara’ takes on more somber tones.

The Temper Trap hit the main stage to play a bunch of songs they stole from U2 and now pass off as their own. Still, the crowd gathered round the main stages are excited. ‘Sweet Disposition’ goes down as expected, with the surprise appearance of the Edge, who parachutes from 20,000 feet and lands directly on to the main stage in order to operate guitarist Lorenzo Sillitto’s digital delay pedal.

It’s getting dark now and that means the vampires are out. Worryingly, I note several blood-drained corpses left willy-nilly in the mandatory festival recycle bins. I shake my head with a sense of disappointment: you can’t recycle that!


Bears are usually a OH&S nightmare, particularly at large Australian music festivals.

Grizzly Bear played a great set, mostly comprising of their work from 2009’s acclaimed record Veckatimist. To heighten audience suspense, the group let loose several untamed grizzlies, brought with them all the way from Alaska. Much like the Foals debacle earlier in the day, things don't go to plan, with several punters being mauled throughout the duration of the set. Lucky St. John’s Ambulance was on hand to issue band-aids and re-attach limbs. The set ends with a cracking version of ‘While You Wait for the Others’.

Ben Harper & the Restless 7 close out day one proceedings. You know what? I can hazard a guess as to why the Restless 7 are restless. It could be because they’re beginning to realise how crap it is being in a band with Ben Harper. I stay for about 10 minutes before wandering off to find some thalidomide. I must purge these memories.

Day one comes to a conclusion and I feel fortunate to be alive.

[To be continued]