The Frustration With Splendour: Sideshows and Alcohol-Free Camping

Yes, we all are crying into our pillows because we all missed out on Splendour in the Grass tickets. Did all the ‘true’ music fans miss out or did they all simply dodge a bullet? You may recall my first effort in the wake of missing out on tickets to the festival in which I fruitlessly blamed a website for my misfortune. Well, here is my second tourney at beating the living crap out of a dead horse.

Regardless of how the splendour debacle played out for you, the fact remains that some very capable artists will be docking at our shores at the end of July. A few of them will engage in the sideshow extravaganza that Splendour organisers have helped promote. While this happens every year, one may speculate that promoting the sideshows is even more important considering the ebb tides of bleeding hearts that washed up dead on the shores of the moshtix website. A cursory glance at tweeted headlines promoting ‘sideshows galore’ prompts heart palpitations. After all, Grizzly Bear, Surfer Blood and Broken Social Scene don’t often make the journey to Australia on a regular basis. However, on closer examination of the various press releases floating around the interwebs reveals a not so subtle sucker punch, one that comes with a message that reads ‘$%!^ YOU BRISBANE’*.

Ok, so we’re not “New York of the Southern Hemisphere” Sydney or “Art and Cultural Centre of New Holland” Melbourne, but you know, we’re sad that we’re not considered important enough to warrant even a drop by for a quick visit before or after the greatest camping festival in prohibition history occurs.

Well, I’m annoyed and empowered by the fact that I have this blogging platform in which to complain loudly. I feel for the many locals who missed out on tickets to the festival due to the demand, but I feel even more royally screwed by the fact that seemingly none of these great international bands are playing anywhere near Brisbane. Unless you’re wealthy enough to spend as much as the cost of one Splendour camping ticket to travel to Sydney or Melbourne, you’ve got zip all chance of seeing the likes of Grizzly Bear come July.

Now, I’m going to engage in some reasoned speculation. While I'm aware that this has not always been the case, it seems that come Splendour and Big Day Out times, many bands curiously skip Brisbane. While geographically, Brisbane is close to both Byron, Woodford and Big Day Out, I often feel frustrated that this assumption seems to inform decisions not to play Brisbane, particularly when such festivals sell out in nanoseconds.

In the case of Splendour in the Grass, one suspects that the contracts between the festival organisers and the individual artists may contain contract terms stipulating that certain bands cannot play Brisbane. Naturally, such a clause would make sense in some situations, particularly to smaller more regional music festivals. You don’t want pesky sideshows in major cities luring your market away. But in the age of Splendour such a clause seems ridiculous since a) it sells out every year and b) many people attending splendour come from all over the country.

So why are there no shows scheduled for Brisbane? If the above speculation is incorrect, and barring band’s having touring commitments which prevent sideshows (hard to swallow considering that no band has Brisbane down as a date), what is the real reason? My point is here that any contractual arrangement that renders the chance of Brisbane sideshows during festival seasons seems very harsh considering the fact that these festivals sell out so quickly.

While I’m on the Splendour bashing parade, I might as well mention my other grievance. A multi-day camping festival in this day and age where punters are not trusted enough to be allowed to bring alcohol into the campsite? Are you having a laugh? This is outrageous.

I don’t condone extreme binge drinking but I suspect other motivations lie at the heart of such a decision. Key question at the Splendour Annual Board meeting on how we can make more money out of people who have already spent $450 to attend a music festival?**

I know! Ban alcohol and charge overinflated prices for a paper cup of midstrength.

Give that wo/man a promotion.

As far as I’m aware, such issues have slipped under the radar. We should be thankful that the Splendour organisers have arranged to bring a significant international line-up, complemented with capable local talent, to Australia. But, as consumers, I think we’re entitled to be upset at the way the organisation of the event has played out (c’mon, ballot system anyone?). I know I am. Now excuse me as I return to writing an essay on mediation and conflict resolution.

If you haven't got your fill, check out another interesting article on the subject by Marieke Hardy on the ABC website.


* Two things. Firstly, in making such a statement, I have to apologise to the wealth of regions that never get to see international bands. It seems a bit petulant for me to make such complaints considering Brisbane generally gets to see more international acts than say Hobart or Darwin and probably Adelaide or Perth. Secondly, I cannot confirm there are absolutely no sideshows for Brisbane, however looking at various websites including Triple J and the Splendour website, at this stage, there seems to be no gigs scheduled for Brisbane by any international band who is gracing the stages at Woodfordia.

** Glastonbury Festival in the UK cost around $300 Australian dollars and permits people to bring their own food and drink into the festival grounds.